Dumbass Might Win the Election
Performed by Bale Harrison and the Texas Field Hands
Dumbass Might Win the Election – DOWNLOAD
(Verse 1)
Well, she’s out there on the campaign trail,
Smilin’ wide, like a ship with no sail.
Talkin’ ‘bout taxes, but she don’t know the math,
Wavin’ a flag while she takes the Marxist path.
She says the sky’s green, and the grass is blue,
But youth in the crowd, they’re cheerin’ it too.
I can’t help but laugh, but my heart fills with dread,
‘Cause anyone with a brain is already dead.
(Chorus)
Dumbass might win the election, you see,
‘Cause all the smart folks are in the cemetery.
She was handed the nomination, bless her empty head,
‘Cause anyone with a brain’s already dead.
Yeah, they’ve died of old age or lost in despair,
But dumbass is here, and nobody cares.
(Verse 2)
She’s holdin’ rallies down at the old town square,
Claimin’ she’ll fix things, but there’s nothin’ there.
Her promises are big, like a Texas sky,
But the facts are buried deeper than a pig in pie.
She says, “I’ll bring change, y’all just wait and see!”
But she can’t even spell “democracy.”
The youth go wild, they’re so easily led,
‘Cause anyone with a brain is long since dead.
(Chorus)
Dumbass might win the election, you see,
‘Cause all the smart folks are in the cemetery.
She was handed the nomination, bless her empty head,
‘Cause anyone with a brain’s already dead.
Yeah, they’ve died of old age or lost in despair,
But dumbass is here, and nobody cares.
(Bridge)
They’re voting for selfies, not policies or plans,
Thinkin’ the country can run on good Instagram.
We used to need wisdom to lead us through strife,
But now it seems slogans are all that’s required in life.
(Chorus)
Dumbass might win the election, you see,
‘Cause all the smart folks are in the cemetery.
She was handed the nomination, bless her empty head,
‘Cause anyone with a brain’s already dead.
Yeah, they’ve died of old age or lost in despair,
But dumbass is here, and nobody cares.
(Outro)
So here we are, in the land of the free,
Led by a woman who can’t find the sea.
But hey, it’s democracy, and we’re surrounded by Sharks,
Even if the future looks like Marx.
Where did the wise people go and God can you let them vote just one more time?
Dumbass Might Win the Election – Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger
Interview with George Clinton
Why Low-Information Youth and the Aging Population Might Win It for Kamala Harris
Conducted by Debbie “Hayride” Harper for Farm.FM
Debbie Harper: “Well, George, it ain’t every day you sit down with the Godfather of Funk himself. And now, you’ve gone and written this new song that’s got everyone talkin’ about how the youth vote and, let’s say, the lack of common sense might just hand Kamala Harris the election. I gotta know — what on Earth inspired that?”
George Clinton: “Debbie, girl, I’ve seen a lot in my time. And you know, if funk has taught me anything, it’s that cycles repeat. But this one here? This ain’t just any cycle — it’s like the final countdown of the common sense generation. The folks who used to really think about things are either six feet under or spending their final days screaming at the news in their recliners. The rest? They’re too busy hitting ‘like’ and scrolling past anything that might make ’em think twice. And Kamala, she’s sittin’ pretty, waitin’ to scoop up the TikTok and meme crowd like she’s collecting corn at harvest.”
Debbie Harper: “So, you’re sayin’ it’s the youth that’s leading the charge here, huh? Is it all just social media or do you think they really have that much influence?”
George Clinton: “It’s a little bit of both, but mostly the way these kids are hooked into the matrix of social media. You’ve got whole generations now that think a retweet or a TikTok dance is activism. And they’ve been fed this stuff since they were knee-high to a grasshopper. These platforms have been shaping their beliefs from the cradle. Kamala, she knows this. She don’t need policies or ideas. She just needs to be the face that pops up in their feeds. Meanwhile, anyone with a brain and a little age behind ’em is either dead or lookin’ around wonderin’ when things got so damn crazy.”
Debbie Harper: “Now, George, you mention ‘common sense.’ Are we talkin’ about folks just dyin’ off? Is that what’s really leadin’ to what you’re callin’ the ‘low-information’ vote?”
George Clinton: “Exactly. The average age in this country’s gettin’ higher and higher, but the folks who remember what it’s like to actually debate something, to think critically — they’re checkin’ out. The younger ones, the ones Kamala’s countin’ on, well, they’ve grown up on headlines with no substance. It’s like they don’t even care what’s behind the curtain anymore. The elders? They used to be the guardrails, keepin’ things from going off the deep end. But those guardrails are rustin’ away. Pretty soon, you’ve just got the car going full speed, no brakes, with someone who knows how to make a hashtag trending behind the wheel.”
Debbie Harper: “You’re tellin’ me that it’s not just the youth but the folks passin’ on that’s really shiftin’ the balance. What about the middle-ground? Are they not tryin’ to keep the ship straight?”
George Clinton: “The middle-ground, Debbie? They’re in a weird spot. Most of ‘em are too tired from workin’ two jobs and raisin’ kids to even look up and pay attention. And when they do? It’s all so noisy, so crazy, that they just throw up their hands and say, ‘Let the kids handle it.’ Only problem is, the kids are out here votin’ like they’re pickin’ the next American Idol, not the leader of the free world. Kamala don’t need to convince ‘em she’s right; she just needs to be the one with the best memes.”
Debbie Harper: “That’s a hell of a thing, George. It almost sounds like you’re sayin’ there’s no hope left.”
George Clinton: “It ain’t hopeless, Debbie. Not yet. But it’s funky, and not the good kind of funky. We’re headed into uncharted waters where it’s all about what’s flashy and not what’s real. Kamala, she’s just the tip of the iceberg. And if the folks with some sense keep passin’ on and the young ones stay glued to their screens, well, who’s to say what’s next?”
Debbie Harper: “You’re makin’ it sound like Kamala’s not even tryin’ to win the old-fashioned way.”
George Clinton: “Oh, she’s tryin’, alright. But not the old-fashioned way. She’s playin’ a whole new game. It’s not about knockin’ on doors or debating policy anymore. It’s about gettin’ in their feeds, showin’ up on their For You Page, and gettin’ them to vote with their thumbs. The folks with common sense are gettin’ phased out like old vinyl records. And just like that, the youth, with their half-baked ideas and indoctrination, might just put her in the Oval Office.”
Debbie Harper: “That’s a wild take, George. But I gotta ask, how much of this do you really believe, and how much is just for the song? You think she’s really got it in the bag?”
George Clinton: “Look, Debbie, I’m a funkster, so I live in exaggeration. But even I can’t ignore what’s happenin’. The song is satire, but there’s a truth to it. Kamala’s not dumb — she knows where the votes are. And if the older generation’s too busy fightin’ about what used to be, and the middle-ground is too tired to care, that leaves the youth. And they’re votin’ based on what feels good, not what makes sense. That’s a dangerous game, but it’s the one she’s playin’, and she might just win.”
Debbie Harper: “Well, George, I think you’ve just funked up this election conversation in the best way possible. Any final thoughts for the folks out there?”
George Clinton: “Just this: Don’t let the funk fade, people. Stay engaged. Don’t let hashtags run the world, ’cause once the funk’s gone, the party’s over. And this? This ain’t the party you wanna miss, trust me.”
Biography George Clinton
91-Year-Old Corn Farmer, Professor, and Chart-Topping Hitmaker
George Clinton is a living testament to the power of reinvention. At 91 years old, this seasoned corn farmer and professor of demographics and human geography has taken the world by storm with his sharp wit, deep insights, and unexpected musical success. Born and raised on his family’s farm in rural Nebraska, Clinton spent decades cultivating both cornfields and young minds. As a professor, he specialized in the study of population trends, aging, and societal shifts, earning a reputation for his biting humor and unconventional teaching style.
In a surprising twist, Clinton recently became the first 90-year-old to top the charts with his satirical song “Dumbass Might Win the Election,” a scathing commentary on the current state of politics and the influence of low-information youth voters. With over 500,000 downloads, the track has resonated across generations, blending humor with sharp political critique.
Now a viral sensation, Clinton continues to divide his time between tending his cornfields and lecturing on the shifting dynamics of aging populations. Ever the pragmatist, he’s proof that it’s never too late to shake things up — even if it’s with a funky beat and a hard truth.