202 Two-Steps

Songwriter’s 15 Observations from a Heartbroken Cowboy in a Dancehall

1. The Cowboy’s Math Problem
   “200 two-steps and six waltzes, and we couldn’t last any longer than that? Hell, that’s not even a good rodeo season! You’d think we could’ve made it to the county fair at least.”
2. Waltzing Towards Regret
   “If 6 waltzes is all it took to break us up, maybe we should’ve tried square dancing—more turns, fewer breakups.”
3. The Two-Step Dance of Denial
   “He’s out here talking like two-stepping is the measure of a relationship’s longevity. That’s cowboy calculus at its finest: one-two, one-two… oops, back to single.”
4. ‘Separate Days’ Instead of Separate Ways
   “Only a cowboy could twist the phrase ‘going our separate ways’ into ‘separate days.’ As if heartache just resets every 24 hours like a good ol’ ranch schedule.”
5. No Slow Dance, No Romance… Unless?
   “He’s making it clear: ‘It ain’t a slow dance, and it don’t mean romance… unless you’re into that.’ Basically, he’s saying, ‘I’m not hitting on you, unless you want me to be.’ Cowboy logic is as smooth as sandpaper.”
6. A Thousand Two-Steps Later
   “Who knew a cowboy could be so romantic? He’s practically offering a minimum of 2,000 steps—more than a Fitbit can handle. If that’s not commitment, I don’t know what is!”
7. The Cowboy Ultimatum
   “It’s either dance or… what exactly? Herd cattle? I guess the only choice you have in a dancehall is to two-step or sit in the corner with your broken heart and a beer.”
8. Romance in Reverse
   “No roses, no sweet nothings. Just, ‘Wanna dance again? It’s not romance… unless you wanna be my baby again.’ Nothing like a cowboy offering up ‘maybe love’ like it’s a limited-time offer.”
9. Not Coming on Too Strong… or At All
   “Only a cowboy can say ‘I ain’t coming on too strong’ while simultaneously begging for a chance to two-step his way back into your heart. It’s like asking for forgiveness with a lasso.”
10. Dancefloor Diplomacy
    “This cowboy’s version of negotiating a relationship is, ‘Let’s just dance it out. If we still like each other after 200 two-steps, we’ll talk.’ The dance floor is basically therapy with boots on.”
11. Dance as Relationship Currency
    “In cowboy terms, dancing is a form of currency. He’s offering 2,000 two-steps like it’s a down payment on rekindling their romance. Meanwhile, she’s just wondering if that counts toward her step goal.”
12. The Cowboy Fitbit
    “This man must think love is measured in steps, not feelings. He’s basically saying, ‘If we dance enough, maybe we’ll forget why we broke up in the first place.’ That’s cowboy problem-solving right there.”
13. The Anti-Romantic Cowboy
    “There’s nothing quite like a cowboy saying, ‘It doesn’t mean romance… unless, you know, you want it to.’ It’s like watching someone hedge their bets on whether they want dessert at the diner.”
14. Dancing as a Last Resort
    “It’s clear: this cowboy would rather two-step than talk. Talking about feelings? Nah. Dancing until your boots wear out? Absolutely. Priorities, folks.”
15. The Cowboy’s Love Language
    “This cowboy’s love language is clearly two-stepping. Forget ‘I love you,’ it’s more like, ‘I’ll dance with you until we forget why we broke up in the first place.’ Yeehaw to emotional avoidance!”