Peppermint Patty’s Farm Search
Bale Harrison and the Texas Field Hands
Peppermint Patty’s Farm Search — Download
(Upbeat country tune with a little honky-tonk flair)
[Verse 1] Well, Peppermint Patty bought herself a map,
Said, “We’re gonna buy a farm, Marcie, how ’bout that?”
Started in Nebraska, where the corn grows high,
But she thought the golf course was where they grow the rye.
She said, “Look at them perfect fields, full of green,”
Marcie whispered, “That’s grass, not beans.”
Patty tried to trade her old baseball bat,
But Marcie rolled her eyes, said, “It don’t work like that.”
[Chorus]
Oh, Patty’s on a tractor, revvin’ it loud,
Thinks she’s drivin’ turbo, feelin’ so proud.
Says we’ll plant the corn and tackle it down,
She wants the funniest farm in every farm town.
From Texas to Kansas, Wyoming to Maine,
Peppermint Patty’s farm search is drivin’ folks insane!
[Verse 2]
In Iowa, she tried to plow the field,
Tied a rake to her back like it’s no big deal.
Said, “Cardio’s key to plantin’ that corn,
Farmers must run miles from dusk to morn!”
In Montana, she saw pigs and thought they’d fetch,
“Are these the farm dogs? Will they catch?”
Marcie just sighed, “That’s not how it works,
Pigs are for bacon, not your football quirks.”
[Chorus]
Oh, Patty’s on a tractor, revvin’ it loud,
Thinks she’s drivin’ turbo, feelin’ so proud.
Says we’ll plant the corn and tackle it down,
She wants the funniest farm in every farm town.
From Georgia to Oregon, and Idaho’s plains,
Peppermint Patty’s farm search is causin’ some pains!
[Bridge]
She wore sandals in the mud in Tennessee,
“I don’t need no boots, this is fine, you’ll see!”
In Alabama, she planned to water with squirt guns,
“Farmin’s just a sport, Marcie, ain’t this fun?”
Tried to grow eggs, scrambled straight from the hen,
Marcie said, “That ain’t how it’s done, my friend.”
Patty said, “Organic? Easy, just plant on Monday,
Don’t worry ‘bout it, crops will grow by Sunday!”
[Chorus]
Oh, Patty’s on a tractor, revvin’ it loud,
Thinks she’s drivin’ turbo, feelin’ so proud.
Says we’ll plant the corn and tackle it down,
She wants the funniest farm in every farm town.
From Florida to Utah, California rain,
Peppermint Patty’s farm search is goin’ insane!
[Outro]
Now she’s thinkin’ cows can play football too,
“Block the linebacker, Bessie! What’s stoppin’ you?”
Marcie’s in the background, shakin’ her head,
“This farm adventure’s better left unsaid.”
So if you see Patty searchin’ for a farm,
Better hide your tractor and raise the alarm!
From New York to Texas, and the Midwest plains,
Peppermint Patty’s farm tour—ain’t nobody sane!
(Instrumental fiddle outro as Peppermint Patty revs the tractor one more time.)
Peppermint Patty’s Farm Search —Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger
