Whiskey on the Dash, Trouble in Her Pants… Pocket

(Verse 1)
She’s not the preacher’s daughter, she’s an angel.

No, the subject of this song is the Sheriff’s ex,
Got a rep that stretches further than a broken heart in Texas.
She can hotwire a truck faster than she can two-step,

And if she’s jilted by midnight, well, his truck’s already prepped.
She drives it down to Fort Worth, parks it by the bar,
By the time he’s figured it out, she’s back, smokin’ a cigar.

She don’t care ‘bout his politics, or his congregation,
But when it comes to messin’ with him, oh, that’s her favorite occupation.(Chorus)
She’s got whiskey on the dash, trouble in her pocket,
Stirs up chaos and no one can stop it.

She’s spray-paintin’ “Mama’s Boy” on his favorite blind,
Puttin’ glitter in his boots, leavin’ sparkles behind.
She sends flowers to the Judge with his name on the card,
Leavin’ the whole damn town wonderin’ what’s goin’ on.

He could lock her up, but knows it’d be worse,
She’s a wild one, breakin’ laws just to hear him curse.
Yeah, whiskey on the dash, trouble in her pocket,
She’s got the Sheriff on the run, and she ain’t gonna stop it.

(Verse 2)
She taught him how to shoot, and tells it at the rodeo,
Says without her, he couldn’t hit a barn if it was slow.
She drinks whiskey straight, her mouth just as hot,
She invented two cuss words the deputy’s still forgot.
When he can’t find his truck, she creams her jeans,
Laughin’ at the look on his face—oh, that’s the scene.
She don’t care ‘bout the law, just what makes him squirm,
And when she’s through with him, she’ll leave him on a worm.

(Bridge)
Folks in town just shake their heads, wonderin’ why,
He don’t do somethin’ ‘bout her, let her fly.
But it’s Texas, and he can tolerate what he wants,
And she’s the kind of woman that never stops.

(Chorus)
She’s got whiskey on the dash, trouble in her pocket,
Stirs up chaos and no one can stop it.
She’s spray-paintin’ “Mama’s Boy” on his favorite blind,
Puttin’ glitter in his boots, leavin’ sparkles behind.
She sends flowers to the Judge with his name on the card,
Leavin’ the whole damn town wonderin’ what’s goin’ on.
He could lock her up, but knows it’d be worse,
She’s a wild one, breakin’ laws just to hear him curse.
Yeah, whiskey on the dash, trouble in her pocket,
She’s got the Sheriff on the run, and she ain’t gonna stop it.

(Outro)
Whiskey on the dash, trouble in her pocket,
When it comes to causin’ hell, she’s never gonna drop it.