Man’s Greatest Invention Is the Cowboy Hat
Performed by Whiskey Wind & The Prairie Boys
Man’s Greatest Invention Is the Cowboy Hat – DOWNLOAD
Verse 1:
In China, there’s no freedom, just red books and government,
No cowboy hats in sight to let the rebels vent.
Xi’s runnin’ the show with a strict iron hand,
But a 10-gallon hat could sure fix that land.
(Chorus):
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It’ll scare off a tyrant, just like that!
When you’ve got a hat on your head,
Dictators are done, they’ll run in dread.
Give ‘em a brim, give ‘em a Bullhide,
And they’ll tip their hat and ride.
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It keeps the peace, now imagine that!
Verse 2:
In Africa, there’s chaos, droughts, and disease,
But no cowboy hats blowin’ in that warm desert breeze.
They need a wide brim to grow some crops,
Put on a cowboy hat and the famine stops.
(Chorus):
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It’ll scare off a tyrant, just like that!
When you’ve got a hat on your head,
Dictators are done, they’ll run in dread.
Give ‘em a brim, give ‘em a Bullhide,
And they’ll tip their hat and ride.
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It keeps the peace, now imagine that!
Bridge:
Europe’s got their socialism, their protests and strikes,
But they’re all missin’ something that cowboys like.
Forget your fancy taxes and those EU rules,
Put on a cowboy hat, don’t be fools!
Verse 3:
In Russia, Putin’s ridin’, but not in a hat,
That’s why he’s always schemin’, you can bet on that.
Give him an American, and he’ll stay on his farm,
No need for invasions, no need for alarm.
(Chorus):
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It’ll scare off a tyrant, just like that!
When you’ve got a hat on your head,
Dictators are done, they’ll run in dread.
Give ‘em a brim, give ‘em a Bullhide,
And they’ll tip their hat and ride.
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It keeps the peace, now imagine that!
Verse 4:
Down in the Middle East, there’s a lotta unrest,
But no cowboy hats to keep ‘em all blessed.
You never see a terrorist with a hat on his dome,
They’d be smart wranglin’ cattle back home.
(Chorus):
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It’ll scare off a tyrant, just like that!
When you’ve got a hat on your head,
Dictators are done, they’ll run in dread.
Give ‘em a brim, give ‘em a Bullhide,
And they’ll tip their hat and ride.
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It keeps the peace, now imagine that!
Outro:
So if you want peace, and freedom that’s true,
You’d better wear a hat in whatever you do.
From Europe to Russia, from China to Pierre,
The cowboy hat makes tyranny disappear.
(Final Chorus):
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It’ll scare off a tyrant, just like that!
When you’ve got a hat on your head,
Dictators are done, they’ll run in dread.
Give ‘em a brim, give ‘em a Larry Mahan,
And they’ll straighten up and stop strayin’.
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It keeps the peace, now imagine that!
Yeehaw!
Meanwhile, in the USA, we’ve got hats, guns, God, and farms. And look, no tyrants here.
Coincidence?
There’s a reason every cowboy town is calm until someone loses their hat.
Songwriter’s Notes
Cowboy Hat: The World Problem Solver
- China – No Cowboy Hats, Just Communism
Look at China, no cowboy hats, just a totalitarian government. Coincidence? I think not! They’re too busy censoring the internet and pretending jeans aren’t a thing to appreciate the freedom of a 10-gallon hat. - Africa – Hats Could Solve Famine and Chaos
Africa? No cowboy hats, just unpredictable weather, disease, chaos, and famine. They could probably use a cowboy to rope in all those problems. Just give ’em a hat and watch the famine disappear! - Europe – Cowboy Hats vs EU Regulations
Europe’s problem isn’t Brexit or EU regulations. No, the real issue? A severe lack of cowboy hats. Farmers would be too busy tipping their hats to protest! - Russia – Putin’s Cowboy Hat Drought
You ever see Putin in a cowboy hat? No? That’s why Russia’s out here starting wars. If they had hats, they’d be too busy wrangling bears to invade anyone. - Middle East – No Hats, Too Many Explosions
The Middle East is full of conflict, oil, and a shocking shortage of cowboy hats. They need hats to cool down all that heat and tension. A cowboy hat could solve terrorism—cowboys and terrorists don’t mix. - North Korea – No Hats, No Fun
North Korea? No hats, no fun, and no freedom. Kim Jong Un would probably smile more if he had a nice Stetson. He wouldn’t even have to fire off missiles if he had a good ol’ hat to tip. - South America – No Hats, Lots of Revolutions
Why is South America always having revolutions? No cowboy hats! The people need something to rally around. You throw a cowboy hat on that situation, and suddenly everyone’s just chillin’ with their cattle. - India – No Cowboy Hats, Too Many Monsoons
India has no cowboy hats, and they’re getting hit with monsoons every year. You think those monsoons are going to mess with someone wearing a brim that wide? No way! - Europe’s Royals – No Hats, Just Fancy Crowns
Royal families in Europe have crowns, but no cowboy hats. And look at them, they’re always under scrutiny. Imagine if Queen Elizabeth had been in a Stetson—no one’s gonna mess with you when you look like you just stepped off the range. - Middle East – More Veils, Less Cowboy Hats
In the Middle East, they’ve got veils and turbans, but no cowboy hats. You never hear about cowboy hat-wearing terrorists, do you? There’s something about a hat that says, “I’m not here to blow anything up, I’m here to wrangle this cattle.” - Antarctica – No Cowboy Hats, Just Cold Penguins
Antarctica has penguins, ice, and not a single cowboy hat in sight. Coincidence? Absolutely not. Give a penguin a cowboy hat, and suddenly it’s too busy line dancing to care about the cold. - Japan – High Tech, No Hats
Japan’s got robots and bullet trains, but do they have cowboy hats? No! They’re missing the true mark of progress. You can invent a robot, but until that robot tips its cowboy hat, you haven’t done anything revolutionary. - France – Berets Over Cowboy Hats
France has berets instead of cowboy hats, and that’s why they’re always surrendering in wars. You put a cowboy hat on Napoleon, and Waterloo might’ve gone a little differently. - Scotland – No Hats, Just Kilts
In Scotland, they’ve got kilts and bagpipes, but no cowboy hats. The only thing more intimidating than a guy in a kilt playing a bagpipe? A guy in a kilt playing a bagpipe in a cowboy hat. - Western USA – Hats and Harmony
Meanwhile, in the Western USA, we’ve got hats, guns, God, and farms. And look, no tyrants here. Coincidence? I think hats scare away dictators. There’s a reason every cowboy town is calm until someone loses their hat.
Chorus
“I think hats scare away tyrants…”