I’m the Girl Who Turned Down Santa
Performed by Debbie Harper and the Prairie Songbirds
I’m the Girl Who Turned Down Santa – DOWNLOAD
Verse 1: I was strumming on the sidewalk at the Nashville street fair,
A skinny Santa came up, with a humongous beard and a blank stare,
Dressed in red like he’d fallen off the sleigh,
With a bag of dreams, but I told him, “Go away.”
He had that look, like he was sellin’ magic beans,
Said, “Sweetheart, I’ve got a song, it’ll fit you like a dream.”
But I saw a schemer in those tired old eyes,
Thought he was hustlin’, just selling me lies.
Chorus:
I turned down Santa Claus, yeah, I told him to go “F-himself”,
Said I wasn’t buying, but he was trying to help.
Turns out I walked away from the next big hit,
And now that song’s got a Grammy, ain’t that about it?
I might’ve missed my chance at a CMA,
But at the street fair, I sent that Santa away.
Verse 2: He pulled out a guitar, missing half its strings,
Said, “This song’s got WINGS, it’ll fly, it’ll sing.”
But all I saw was duct tape and dust,
And I thought, “There’s no way I’m puttin’ my trust,
In a guy who smells like cookies and milk,
Tryin’ to tell me he’s got the next big hit.”
Said his cousin’s a producer out in Arkansas,
I thought, “Boy, your story’s got more holes than barstool law.”
He was talkin’ too fast, tryin’ to seal the deal, invading my space.
But I told him, “Santa, let’s be real. Get out a my face.”
Chorus:
I turned down Santa Claus, yeah, I told him to go “F-himself”,
Said I wasn’t buying, but he was trying to help.
Turns out I walked away from the next big hit,
And now that song’s got a Grammy, ain’t that about it?
I might’ve missed my chance at a CMA,
But at the street fair, I sent Santa away.
Bridge: Now they’re playin’ that song all over the air,
I hear it in bars, I hear it in the car, everywhere.
Santa was just a songwriter, and I was a dumbass.
That’s happened before; I told plenty of nice boys, “I’ll pass.”
Workin’ a “Santa charity” on his break pitchin’ dreams at the fair,
Still, I told Santa to “F-off” without a care.
Chorus:
I turned down Santa Claus, yeah, I told him to go “F-himself”,
Said I wasn’t buying, but he was trying to help.
Turns out I walked away from the next big hit,
And now that song’s got a Grammy, ain’t that about it?
I might’ve missed my chance at a CMA,
But at the street fair, I sent Santa away.
Outro: Now I’m the girl who turned down a Grammy, no lie,
But I love that songwriter, and I still wonder why.
I might not have performed it the same, but I know what’s true,
At the street fair, I crashed with my very first fan.
Santa came with a gift, but I didn’t see,
Now that hit song is out there, but not with me.
I turned down Santa Claus, yeah, and I used the F-word, to boot
Now I’m the one wishin’ I hadn’t done that, cost me a lot of loot.
SPOKEN:
I turned down Santa Claus, yeah, I guess I ain’t that bright,
I can’t understand; I’ve been approached by the plainest of men and I was polite.
I was polite to everybody but Santa.
I wish I could talk to him and explain but he’d probably remember me.
Especially after I called the cops…
He’s got a list, ya know.
SINGING:
That song’s got a Billboard Award, maybe even a Gold Record,
It’s sold out at the Opry.
And here I am, STILL strummin’ sidewalks,
I could a bought a house, a car, I could bought a meal.
Turns out, success was gift-wrapped—too bad I never knew.
I never knew, Santa was real!
[fiddle solo]
[end the song]
Debbie Harper and Alan Nafzger
Setting: A cozy café in downtown Nashville, with the soft hum of music playing in the background. Debbie ‘Hayride’ Harper, a rising country star, is sitting across from Alan Nafzger, the songwriter behind some of the most heartfelt and humorous country tunes. They’re here to talk about Alan’s latest creation, “I Turned Down Santa Claus.”
Debbie:
Alan, first off, thank you for joining me today. I’ve got to say, “I Turned Down Santa Claus” is just one of those songs that sticks with you. It’s funny, it’s sad, and it’s relatable. What inspired you to write it?
Alan:
Oh, it’s my pleasure, Debbie. Well, the idea came from a story I heard a while back. I was at a street fair, just wandering around, and I saw this girl playing guitar on the sidewalk. She was amazing, but she was playing for tips, you know? Then there was this skinny guy in a Santa suit just watching her like he was seeing a ghost. It got me thinking, what if this girl had no idea who he was or what he could offer? The rest kind of wrote itself.
Debbie:
That’s wild! So, there actually was a “skinny Santa” just hanging out at a street fair? I thought that part was just a clever metaphor for someone missing out on a big opportunity.
Alan:
Nope, he was real! Turns out he was doing some kind of charity gig, but he looked out of place. And the girl—I mean, she had this raw talent. But I started wondering, what if she just brushed him off because, you know, he looked like a character out of a Christmas fever dream?
Debbie:
[Laughs] I can see that happening! Now, the song really captures that “I could’ve been a star, but I missed my chance” vibe. Did you ever worry that people would take it as a sad song, or did you always know it had to be funny?
Alan:
A little bit of both, honestly. I wanted it to have that humor, like a lesson wrapped in irony. Because life’s like that, right? We miss stuff all the time, and it’s heartbreaking, but sometimes all you can do is laugh about it. I mean, who turns down a potential Grammy-winning song from a guy in a Santa suit? That’s the absurdity of it.
Debbie:
I know! It’s the perfect mix. And speaking of Grammys, there’s a line in there where she sings, “Turns out I walked away from the next big hit, and now that song’s got a Grammy, ain’t that about it?” Did you always intend to throw in those awards references?
Alan:
Definitely. It’s a way to drive home the point of what she missed. Not just any song, but a song that could’ve taken her all the way to the top. She didn’t just miss a chance; she missed the chance. A Grammy, a CMA, maybe even a spot at the Opry. It’s kind of a “what could’ve been” story that we all relate to in different ways.
Debbie:
I have to ask, have you ever been in that girl’s shoes? Not literally, but have you ever had a moment where you turned down an opportunity and kicked yourself later?
Alan:
Oh, plenty of times. I think we all have. I mean, I’ve walked away from deals that I didn’t think were right at the time, only to see someone else take off with it. It’s humbling. But hey, that’s where the inspiration comes from, right? If I hadn’t been a dumbass a few times, I’d have nothing to write about. [Laughs]
Debbie:
[Laughs] Well, I’m glad you did, because we got a great song out of it! Now, when you wrote “I Turned Down Santa Claus,” did you have a specific singer in mind, or was it more of a universal character?
Alan:
I wrote it for anyone who’s ever felt like they missed their shot. But I’ll admit, I thought about you when I was writing it, Debbie. You’ve got that blend of humor and heart that really brings out the spirit of the song. Plus, I knew you’d have fun with that line, “Santa came with a gift, but I didn’t see, now that hit song is out there, but not with me.”
Debbie:
Aw, you’re too kind. And you’re right, I had a blast with it! It’s so catchy, but there’s also a lesson in there. You can’t judge a book by its cover… or a songwriter by his Santa suit. What do you hope people take away from the song?
Alan:
I hope they laugh, I hope they nod along, and maybe they get a little reflective. We all have those moments where we think, “What if I hadn’t walked away?” But that’s life, and sometimes it makes for the best stories. And, well, maybe next time they see someone in a Santa suit at a street fair, they’ll give ‘em a listen. You never know who’s got the next big hit.
Debbie:
[Laughs] You heard it here, folks! Listen to the Santas out there—they might just have your next Grammy-winning song. Alan, thank you so much for chatting with me. I know people are going to love “I Turned Down Santa Claus.”
Alan:
Thank you, Debbie! It’s always a pleasure. And hey, if you see me in a Santa suit at the next street fair, don’t be a stranger.
